Spanglish Chick

When commercial holidays like Valentine’s Day come around you can’t help but notice that so many people get caught up in the “I’m sad to be single, or I suck because I’m in a bad relationship, or I’m going to be cynical about the whole idea because if I can’t be happy no one will” mode.   I firmly believe these people need a drink.

Then you have the uber-romantics who make you want to vomit because they insist on flashing their romantic feats to the whole Facebook world, when we truly know it’s them trying to convince themselves more than them convincing others.  Ay Dios, these people need a drink, too.

Either way, you’re bound to run into one of these people than the one couple or person who is secure in their current lifestyle. This is America. We all have issues at some point. And our biggest opponents are often our diets and love.

With that said, have you ever really truly thought about all the types of love that surround you? I hope you know there isn’t one kind. And I’m sure at some point, you’ve had one. I’ve decided to compile a list of love below. Am I expert? Haha no … but I have been through a lot in my life and seen enough well into my 30+ years to have an understanding of the concept of love.  Have I had love in my life? Yes and no. What does that mean? It means I’m still finding it all around me. You’re never too old to experience any part of life. Even love.

So if you’re feeling a bit cynical this Valentine’s, or you’re trying to convince yourself “he/she really loves me,” take a moment to reflect on a love you once had, will have or never knew you had.

Self Love: That’s exactly what it means. Loving yourself. It’s a beautiful  thing. Now don’t get all cochino on me and think I’m talking about self gratification. Not the same, but if it helps you … then do what you have to do. Self love is the strongest most secure love you will have in your life. Why? Because if you can’t love yourself then you will not know how to offer love to anyone else.  It’s neither selfish nor arrogant to love yourself. It can do wonders for your self-esteem, confidence and inner beauty.  People will find you more attractive and interesting if you are secure in yourself.

Unconditional Love: Yet, another beautiful aspect of love.  Often compared to true love (which is between lovers), unconditional love means to love someone regardless of one’s actions or beliefs, most often between family members, long lasting friendships and sometimes even pets (yes, pets).  This love is an unbreakable one. I know this love firsthand, and it can make you tear up with joy just when the thought hits your senses. I know this love … because I am a mother. The love between a mother and her child is the most sacred and selfless love a woman will ever have in her lifetime. No matter the lack of perfection this love will never change. And it will never be shallow. You would give your life for this love.

Undying love: If you have ever read Beethoven’s “Immortal Beloved” letter you would feel the undying love he has in his heart for the woman he loves.  Another tale of undying love is the movie, “The Notebook.” This love holds no boundaries. It’s passionate, caring, sexual, captivating, stressful and creates a bond in life and in death.  It is often a love that is torn and fought for yet remains timeless. If you ever get to experience this type of love, be prepared to have a small nervous breakdown before it all comes together.

Infatuated Love: Another self explanatory love. It’s more infatuation than real love. It’s a love struck crush. In other words, you think you’re in love. There’s nothing wrong with a little infatuated love from time to time. Although it is often short-lived it can make you smile and feel good. Just don’t let this one take over. It can turn into Obsessive Love if you don’t watch it. Obsessive love is often a negative and one sided. Como se dice … no one is happy in crazy psycho love. Enjoy it while it lasts, then move on.

Platonic Love (friendship love):  One of the most non-sexual loves out there people. Thank goodness for an emotion with no pressure to put out.  This is a love filled with respect, hugs, good conversation, and if you can imagine … normal behavior! Platonic love is up there with self love and unconditional love. It’s easier to come by, dependable, not too hard to handle and it’s honest.  Embrace your friends. They love you as much as you love them.

Puppy Love: One of the most innocent yet naïve forms of love. This is often a person’s first form of love towards a possible significant other.  We have all had this love and have learned from it. Oh G-d did we learn. Puppy love is just one of those wacky life experiences you have to endure in order to figure yourself out. Puppy love hurts like hell. You’re all goofy and shy about it. You dream about your lover (or wanna be lover) constantly. You know what I’m talking about all you NKOTB fans.  It’s one giant delusion of grandeur.  Eventually, we all grow out of it.

Romantic/Passionate Love: A love that is intense, indulgent, emotional and euphoric. Romantic/Passionate love will make someone put your ass in a love song (thank you Beyonce and Alicia). This love is a mixture of lust, intimacy and intense physical and emotional reactions all at once. Your love and sex is on fire. This type of love can fizzle over time or move onto something f*cking awesome.

Committed Love (f*cking awesome):  Combine every emotion you have ever had … good and bad. Then layer it with commitment, dedication, sharing, honesty, devotion, understanding, sacrifice, trust and faithfulness. Those may sound tame, but when you combine them with Romantic/Passionate love, you my dear, have just found your life’s bliss, committed love.  In committed love you become one. Commited lovers often make a life together. Everything changes yet it still feels like home.  You will have found a love many people strive for and often try to force.  There are some people who cannot fathom nor understand a love this deep. This is one of the most loyal and complicated, profound and affectionate emotions you will ever know and have in your life.  This is true love.

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