Valentine’s Day is not about being someone’s “boyfriend or girlfriend.” Nor is it a time to cringe at being “single.” The Day has several historical meanings, according to several sources.
There were several Saint Valentine’s and they were not all linked to romance. Instead, there are different stories and traditions linked to St. Valentine. When St. Valentine was persecuted as a Christian, he left a letter to the jailer’s daughter. It was signed “from your Valentine.”
“The high court of love” was established in Paris on Valentine’s Day. It dealt with love contracts, betrayals and violence against women. Judges were selected on the basis of a poetry reading.
In some traditions, Valentine knocks on the rear door of houses and leaves secrets and presents for children. In Finland, it is translated to “Friend’s Day.” It is a day about remembering all your friends, not only your loved ones.
In Mexico, Guatemala and El Salvador, Valentine’s Day is known as “Dia del Amor y la Amistad” (the Day of Love and Friendship). Although it is similar to the US version in many ways, it is also common to see people carry-out “acts of appreciation” for their friends.
In most of South America the “Dia del amor y la Amistad” and the “Amigo Segreto” (Secret Friend) are quite popular and usually celebrated together on the 14th of February. One exception is Columbia, where it is celebrated every third Saturday of September. The latter consists of randomly assigning to each participant a recipient who is to be given an anonymous gift, similar to the tradition of Secret Santa during Christmas.
Use this day as one to focus on how to pamper yourself, to honor and love yourself. Too often women see themselves as “loveable” only if they are in a relationship. Think of all the people who bring love and joy to your life and you to theirs.
Honor their presences with a card, chocolate, or just a hello. This is a day to feel love for one’s self and to share with those significant to you and what they mean to you.
Hug a friend, your dog, even a tree! Hug life and the opportunities to have a loved one and to be loved.
Valentine’s Day should not be a day where one’s focus is on what is lacking, but rather, on what is good and loving in our life. Begin with yourself. Treat yourself to that chocolate, a flower, or whatever makes your heart glow.
Eva Szego, MA, LPC, LMFT
Los Colores
Eva is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Family Therapist, Board Certified Art Therapist. Her practice, Los Colores, is located in Houston.
If you have a question for Eva, please click here to email her.
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